


a small promise, quickly broken:

by LaBelleIzzy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Character Study, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Requited Unrequited Love, parse positive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBelleIzzy/pseuds/LaBelleIzzy
Summary: I wrote this as character notes but like it enough to put it out here too. I'm working on one for Bitty and one for Jack as well.This comes out of my Adventures in Physicality notes and hopefully I'll finish these (and the planned porny porny sequel) and make it into a series.





	a small promise, quickly broken:

_a small promise, quickly broken: a letter from Kent_

I promise not to fall in love with you

I promise to be casual about this thing we’re starting

I promise not to expect more than you can reasonably give me… am I lying to myself?

Fuck that shit. What’s reasonable when we’re talking about love? What’s reasonable when we’ve both been starving for love our whole lives? Why the hell wouldn’t I jump in with both feet and BATHE in love, why wouldn’t I want to pour buckets of love over you if I have it to give?

I want it. I want it so bad I can taste it in the back of my throat and behind my teeth, I want it so bad that it burns in my belly, I want it so bad that I can barely keep the words inside my mouth.

I love you. I love you. How can I love you, I barely know you? but you’re giving me permission, you’re giving me a chance to try, you're offering safe space to learn what love might be, how it might feel, you’re even testing the bath water for me before you let me get in... how are we doing this? How did we even find ourselves here? How did I ever get so lucky that you decided you wanted to try this with me? Do you think you’re lucky to have found me? 

I hope you do.

I promise to not push for more.  
(That’s a lie.)

I promise to not want more. Even more of a lie, a bigger, bolder lie. I always want more. I want all of it, I want everything I can get from you, I want to give you all that I am and to believe you’ll keep me safe, that I can trust you to hold the most broken and valuable parts of me. 

I promise you won’t break my heart.

That’s the biggest lie of all. I always lie about how much it hurts when I love people. I always lie that it doesn’t hurt when they leave. And I always lie about being afraid to try again. I’m always afraid. I get over it sometimes but I’m always afraid to risk being hurt again.

There’s nothing that hurts more than trusting my heart to someone and having it spurned.

Trust issues? Baby I’ve got trust subscriptions. I’ve got trust ANTHOLOGIES. Issues, *scoff*

I wanna be the kind of person you can trust. I want to earn your trust. I want you to look at me with your beautiful eyes and I want to drown in how much you trust me, how much you want me, ...and I want to start believing in how much you love me.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as character notes but like it enough to put it out here too. I'm working on one for Bitty and one for Jack as well.
> 
> This comes out of my Adventures in Physicality notes and hopefully I'll finish these (and the planned porny porny sequel) and make it into a series.


End file.
